In John 5:6 we learn that the Savior saw the infirm man "and knew that he had been now a long time in that case." The Savior allowed the man to explain his situation and his need. Because we are not omniscient, we need to first listen—and do so without being critical.
Often, what is needed most is for us to be prayerful and to listen without giving advice or platitudes. People who are suffering don't need our explanations for their condition. Our well-meaning attempts to put the situation in perspective (our perspective) can unintentionally come across as demeaning or insensitive. In preparing this article and conducting research, I asked numerous individuals what had been most helpful in returning to health and functionality. Every person said they needed someone to listen to their story or situation without being critical.
I was taken aback by some of the comments that others had made to these individuals in their sorrow or illness. Statements such as "Don't worry, you still have your other children," "I know how you feel, and it's not that bad," "You'll find another husband," "You must have done something wrong in your previous life," "I don't want to catch your cancer," or "Now tell me again how your child died," increase hurt, isolation, and suffering. Even if such comments are said with the best of intentions, they are best left unsaid.
When we are prayerful, the Spirit can help us know what to say. We might think about saying "I'm so sorry for your loss," or "I don't know exactly how you feel, but I'm happy to help in any way possible," or simply give a hug, or talk to the grieving person about a favorite memory of their loved one. In doing so, we are listening and responding in a Christlike way.